The lilacs are in bloom this week in Nelson! I know that those of you who are reading this from the coast, or from warmer climates will think this is old news, but the fragrance is just a wonderful thing to experience. Unless, of course, you have allergies that make it difficult to function in the spring season.
Also, below, the first blossoms from the rhododendron in our front yard appeared this week. This is early, as these don't normally appear until June, but then everything has been early this year.
I had an interesting experience earlier this week, which is a sad commentary on our society. I had occasion to be in court, representing a buyer on a property that was being sold under a court order, due to a foreclosure. That was sad enough, as the owner who will be losing the property was present, along with representatives for 2 prospective buyers, the lawyer, court clerk, bailiff and judge. However, before this was dealt with, we heard quite a number of cases involving personal relationships, disputes over property inheritances, unpaid debts and disputes over child support payments. I was quite impressed with the patience displayed by the judge, but very grateful that I don't have to deal with that sort of negative nonsense on a regular basis.
Now for a change of pace:
THE ABILITY TO MAKE AND UNDERSTAND PUNS IS THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF LANGUAGE DEVELOPMENT. Here are the ten first place winners in the International Pun Contest:
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said," I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan" Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close.
Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Do You Know A Buyer For This Home?
A Delightful small acreage with a very comfortable 3 bedroom home with plenty of room for further development in the walk-out lower level. Double garage, hardwood flooring, fireplace, sitting on a fenced property in a private location, just 1/2 hour from Nelson, or a few minutes drive from Castlegar. For further details, please check our web-site at: Pass Creek Home $399,000.
Scared vs. Apprehensive
As a sergeant in a parachute regiment, I took part in several night-time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a lieutenant fresh from jump school.
He was quiet and looked a bit pale, so I struck up a conversation. "Scared, lieutenant?" I asked.
He replied, "No, just a bit apprehensive."
I asked, "What's the difference?"
He replied, "That means I'm scared, but with a university education."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
MLS® Sales Rebound in the Kootenay’s.
Nelson, BC April 12, 2010 – First quarter MLS® Sales numbers indicate that Kootenay markets are returning to a more balanced state with MLS® Sales increasing well above levels reported during the depressed 2009 markets. While Kootenay Real Estate Markets have improved, they have not returned to peak levels as experienced in the Lower Mainland markets, but are sitting at MLS® Unit Sale levels experienced between the years 2002 to 2003.
Statistically, MLS® Unit Sales through the first quarter of 2010 show an improvement of 71%over amounts reported in 2009. When compared to past real estate statistics of Total MLS® Sales from 1989 to 2010, the 1st Quarter of 2010 ranked the eighth best when comparing number of sales adjusting.
Kootenay Real Estate Board President Jim Barber comments: “2010 has started on a favourable note with Kootenay Real Estate property values holding and MLS® Unit Sales recovering to more normal levels. Buyers have returned to traditional markets and have taken advantage of the low mortgage rates and the increases to affordability from 2009. While the residential markets have generally recovered, the second home and recreational markets continue to lag in performance, impacted in part by the performance of the Alberta economy.”
When asked about other aspects influencing real estate markets in the Kootenay’ President Barber remarked: “Kootenay Real Estate markets have been fuelled by very low interest rates, improved buyer affordability and consumer confidence. However recent changes to mortgage qualification rules, increases in mortgage rates and decreases in affordability, may temper sales moving beyond the second quarter of 2010. As we move through 2010, the recovery may have come quicker than anticipated but we don’t expect our markets to overheat given these mitigating circumstances. We also expect some consumers to wait on the sidelines until the impact of the HST is fully understood.
But generally speaking, even with the limiting influences of mortgage rules, rate increases and the HST, we expect our markets to continue to move to a more normal state.”
MLS® Dollar Volume of all sales processed through the Kootenay Real Estate Board in the first quarter of 2010 reached almost $145 Million Dollars, an increase of 75% from first quarter 2009 levels of over $82 Million Dollars of real estate changing hands.
MLS® Unit Sales to the end of the first quarter of March (first quarter) 2010 rose 71% when compared to total MLS® Unit Sales in 2009 during the same period.
The price of the average Residential Detached house sold on the Multiple Listing Service® (MLS®) to the end of March 2010 increased 7% to $297,031 compared to the amount of $276,824 reported in 2009.
Kootenay Real Estate Board MLS® statistics year to date in 2010 show Residential Detached Housing listings up 23% over 2009. Year to Date MLS® Unit Sales for Detached Single Residential Housing experienced an increase of 59% over amounts reported in 2009.
Overall, the number of Year to Date MLS® Listings in 2010 increased 46% over 2009. Year to Date MLS® Unit Sales increased 71% in 2010 over amounts reported in 2009.
The above information contained herein is the sole property of the Kootenay Real Estate Board. The information has been compiled from sources believed to be reliable. While every effort has been made to ensure accuracy and completeness, the Kootenay Real Estate Board cannot be held liable for errors and omissions.
In the City of Nelson, homes that have sold are taking an average of 74.8 days to sell this year. Although the sales volume is up from the first part of 2009, the average sale time is also up, from 64.2 days last year.
In the Rural area, sales are up to almost 50% over the first part of 2009, for single family homes and homes on acreages. Last year's total to the end of April was 22 sales with an average marketing time of only 60.7 days. This year we have recorded 31 sales, but the average days on the market has increased to 106.9 days.
Is it just me, or do you find yourself wanting to doze off in the mid-afternoon? In case I'm not alone, here are some responses you may want to try (or maybe not!):
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Locally, it has now been reported that the fund raising for the purchase of a CT Scanner for Kootenay Lake hospital has now passed the $1 Million mark. The purchase price of this piece of equipment is $1.5 Million, so we're past the 2/3 mark, thanks to the efforts of so many people in the area. There is lots of momentum for this project and efforts are ongoing, including the construction and sale of a new home being built on McQuarrie Avenue and the raffle of a restored 1955 Corvette (tickets are $50 each, and going quickly!) Once again, this makes me proud to be living in this excellent community that can get behind these projects and ensure their success.
Finally, I know this is a little bit late for Mother's Day, but thought it was worth sharing. Please hold tongue firmly in cheek as you read:
THE
NEXT SURVIVOR
SERIES
Six married men
will be dropped on an island
with one car
and 3 kids each
for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports
and take either music or dance classes.
There is no fast food.
Each man must
take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
complete science projects,
cook,
do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money.
In addition,
each man
will have to budget enough money
for groceries each week.
Each man
must remember the birthdays
of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out on time--no emailing.
Each man must also take each child
to a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.
He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient visit per child to the Emergency Room.
He must also make cookies or cupcakes
for a school function.
Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside, and keeping it
presentable at all times.
The men will only have access to television
when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
The men must shave their legs,
wear makeup daily,
adorn themselves with jewelry,
wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,
keep fingernails polished,
and eyebrows groomed
During one of the six weeks,
the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings
but never once complain or slow down
from other duties.
They must attend weekly school meetings
and church,
and find time at least once to spend
the afternoon at the park or a similar
setting.
They will need to read a book to the kids each night
and in the morning,
feed them,
dress them,
brush their teeth and
comb their hair
by 7:30 am.
A test will be given
at the end of the six weeks,
and each father will be required to know
all of the following information:
each child's
birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size,
doctor's name,
the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.
The kids vote them off the island based on performance.
The last man wins only if...
he still
has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment's notice.
If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!
After you get done laughing,
send this to as many females as
you think will get a kick out of it and
as many men as you think can handle it.
Just don't send it back to me....
I'm going to bed.
Thanks for reading! If you have a question or comment, we'd love to hear from you.
Lorne & Drew
Thanks for reading! If you have a question or comment, we'd love to hear from you.
Lorne & Drew
1 comment:
Too funny, Lorne!!
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